The LemonSqueeze

고구려(高句麗; Goguryeo) existed in the korean peninsula from the first to seventh century. In an overly patriotic fashion, my father named his kids after the dynasty. Ko(brother), Rea(sister), Narang(sister), and me. The name “Narang” is a combination of the words “Nara Sarang” which directly translates to “love the land(nation)”. For most of my life, I grew up with Narang. We were born a year and a half apart from one another and Ko and Rea are my half siblings who are 7 and 8 years older respectively. Narang and I often traveled to Diamond bar with my father to visit Ko and Rea and without fail, we always visited chuck e cheese's. When I was in the second grade, Ko and Rea’s mother had passed away and they moved in with our father, my mother, narang, and me.

Our bond as siblings was unlike any other. My childhood after Ko and Rea moved in seemed to rush by as much of our time was spent in laughter and excitement. Ko and Rea were undoubtedly busy high school students, but they always found time for their younger siblings. It was an exhilarating feeling to share many of the same high school teachers as Ko. We shared much of the same interests in the sciences, while both sisters were enamoured in the arts. I had several paths laid out before me as I could follow the direction of three other siblings. Being the magnae(last born), it was my responsibility to learn from my siblings' mistakes and experiences. Although I am truly privileged to have three older siblings to show me the best possible path to pave for myself, my father seems to have a conflicting traditional sense of family dynamic that counters the idea of being the beneficiary of my siblings. Korean culture places most emphasis on the success of the first born daughter or first born son; to have a younger child surpass the accomplishments of older siblings is thought to “throw off the balance”. It’s a strange sense to have expectations to either be a carbon copy of an older sibling, or to be “lesser”.

The most important takeaway from this traditional hierarchical family dynamic is to understand its differences to American values. American families tend to dismiss the idea of favoritism regarding their children’s successes, as success is thought to have a subjective definition. However, success possesses a much more concrete definition in Korean culture: wealth, or the possibility of a comfortable livelihood. In rural Korea, to place most investment on the first-born maximizes the probability of a quicker return. This idea to place most emphasis on the first child may have been an effective investment strategy in Goguryeo, but only creates unnecessary family drama in the Kim family today. Although many of my siblings seem to butt heads regarding who claims the throne of “having their act together”, all three older siblings do have one thing in common.

They are oblivious that I’ve yet to begin my first act.